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So it’s done. I’ve finished my first year at university. Was it what I expected? A little, but there was enough throughout the year that took me by surprise, and which I have found so little advice on, that I think it’s best for me write a little for those who are looking to go, or already know they are going.

Making friends

Perhaps the biggest worry amongst people going to university is making friends. You have your friends at home – it could be a tight-knit group, or rather loose, but they’re your friends and you’ve been friends for ages. All of a sudden you’re about to be completely split up, and the whole ‘oh hey, what’s your name?’ business is about to start again. Only this time your Year 7 form tutor isn’t orchestrating it all with team-building exercises. I remember during the first day of freshers there was a ‘mingle’. I was left alone with a guy that looked about twelve with a conversation that went a little like this (actually this is verbatim – it was a scarring experience).

Me: So what are you doing at uni?

Pre-pubescent adult: Yu-Gi-Oh

Me: …oh?

Pre-pubescent adult: (wiping snot from his nose) yeah, yeah, we’re doing it together! (He points towards what looked like could only be his slightly more feminine replica)

Me: oh! I didn’t know they did a degree in that

Both of them: errmm, they don’t. DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK THEY DID?!(They laugh together)

So, there I was: bested by some Yu-Gi-Oh players. Instinctively I turned as if to go towards my best mates, but, of course, I had none. I had been trapped and belittled by what can only be described as the corporeal manifestations of annoying younger siblings in a Cartoon Network programme. But it taught me a few valuable lessons: 1) people that look like Yu-Gi-Oh players probably are Yu-Gi-Oh players; 2) that you no longer have the safety net of other friends at uni 3) Making friends would be a bit of a laborious process.

Or at least that’s what I thought at the time. As it turns out, that didn’t set the tone for the rest of my time at university, or even freshers. I went on to make some brilliant friends purely from making sure that I got out of my room, socialised, and made sure that I invited people out to events that I was going to. It isn’t necessarily all about clubbing either. What I noticed around halfway through the year is that you might be able to make some friends, but how much of that friendship is based on convenience or mere fun? To fully establish friendships, it’s the one-on-ones that count. Invite people round for a cup of tea, just chill in someone’s room; don’t fall into the illusion of friendship just by drinking and clubbing all the time. Sure, it’s fun – but it can also become incredibly isolating.

Image Credits: mumsnet.com